being grateful.

I am grateful of many things in life. 

As much I feel like everything is a burden Id like to think things positively. And at times those little things just ticks you off and you're bombarded with this ungrateful feeling and everything turns sour. 

From little things that your siblings, parents or friends do to those things that I kept thinking why why must one do this things without just thinking it over through first.

People say we do think too much. But to an extend, to think before you act would actually save up the mess you might end up with when you act without thinking. 

Okay the reason for this entry in the first place is just being mad at someone. When you're mad at them, whatever they do seems wrong. And this is when we 'ungkit' things. Like the situation Im having with my parents. I love being home. I love being the centre of attention. But even when I'm the only one here.... I'm never the centre of attention. Cause apparently I'm the responsible one. I'm the one who can take care of myself. I'm the one who could survive anywhere. As much as Im flattered to be labelled that way I am hurt too. Because I am forgotten. Even when Im there. Even to the littlest things of what my siblings do I have to take the responsibility.

And they say be selfish. Put yourself first. 

How can I do that when I come home my parents expect me to solve my siblings problems? 

If running away is a choice in the first place I would do it.  Luckily I'm still sane. 

You know when this things happens.... I keep thinking of those things that I deserve but they forgot. Like how they forgot my birthday present for the past 5 years. Or how they promised to pay for my bracers for the past three years. Or how I have to give in for my siblings when we moved that I get the smallest room. But in the end now none of them is living in that room. Or how I've always wanted to travel to Korea back then but they sent my sister instead. In the end I went for my trip on my own expenses. Or how I've always wanted a new car but they bought my sister one instead. The lists are long and neverending....

These negative things just creeps the heck out of me. Allah saja yang tahu. And I feel guilty to feel that way cause compared to what they have given for the past 26 years to what they promised but forgot is nothing.  

Ya Allah, thank you for everything.

Here's one link to a great article I read this morning.

And an excerpt of Marc & Angel Hack Life. 

2.  What you don’t have.Instead of thanking the heavens for two strong legs and a body that’s capable of running and jumping and dancing, lots of people complain about their weight and appearance.Instead of appreciating that they live in a country that protects their basic human rights and civil liberties, lots of people complain about laws, taxes, and politicians.Instead of being grateful for the roof they have over their heads, lots of people wish they had a larger house and a fancier car.Don’t be one of these people.