I am ready to run.

I went to bed crying last night.

Its that moment in life where I feel so lost. So disoriented. So confused.

I cant figure out whats the next step in my life. I have it all planned but I am so worried it wont fall into places.

I lose my trust in people I know.

And right now, Im just so tired. Tired of being the one who listens. The one who tries to understand how the world spins. So tired of being the one who tries to work things out.

I wanna run. Dig a hole maybe and just hide.

Honestly, Im just so tired of trying to be the good kid in my family. The one who listens. The who drive them around to wherever they want to go. But but but but................ at the end of the day it's the troublemaker they sees. The one who nags and complains about life. The one who says she doesnt know how to bank in cash. The one who throws tantrums and gets all the attention in the house.

Its that person who they see.

Sad. I am so tired. So tired of being the one who tries everything just to get their attention but at the end of the day, they only see me as that person who can survive. Who can survive even they throw me into the sea.

I am so tired of being that person who backs out to everything. Mengalah. mengalah. mengalah. Sampai bila?